Stardate: 80504:1300
Title: I Smell the Blood of An Englishman
Author: Ted Matthews
Time: Current
Scene: Planet


Ted was running with gold coins in his pockets, a hen under one arm and a harp under the other. The rumbling cries and thundering footsteps of an angry giant trembled the ground around him as he headed for the beanstalk.

*Why did I pick up so much stuff?* Ted thought as he reached the beanstalk. As he started to climb down he found it difficult to leave his stolen treasure behind.

"Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum."

*I know, I know, 'grind my bones'!* Ted wasn’t used to so much physical activity and sweat was pouring off of him. Things were made worse by the ridiculously frilly shirt, green velvet shorts and bright white socks.

"I smell the blood of an Englishman."

About halfway down Ted took a moment to look up. The giant was... well, obviously... giant and he was descending a lot quicker than the CMO. At that moment Ted slipped and fell about four feet before re-establishing a hand hold.

"Be he alive, or be he dead."

Ted climbed as quickly as he could; when he reached the bottom the nagging woman came out of the house. He quickly dumped the coins and hen in her arms and looked for an axe.

"I'll grind his bones to make my bread."

Ted started to hack at the base of the stalk but his impact was minimal and the giant was getting closer.

"Ted?" The voice of Emma Smith made him look up. "What are you doing?" She asked with a quizzically raised eyebrow.

"Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum." Boomed the giant.

"Ah, I see your problem...." Alex Ross and Sparky found implements to help Ted and started to hack away. Curiously Remmick did not join in, instead the Chief of Engineering walked around base. After about a minute he told the group to stop.

"Everyone needs to focus their efforts here." He pointed to a spot on the base of the beanstalk, as the group started to hit the spot an immediate effect could be seen. Within minutes the stalk started to tip and eventually it fell.

The giant crashing to the ground felt like an earthquake and as the dust settled both the beanstalk and the giant disappeared...


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Ted Matthews
CMO
USS Horizon
NCC-72400
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